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Editor's note: This column by Rekha Basu was originally published in when "Fifth Shades of Grey" was released in theaters. The Valentine's Day hype about the movie began well before its release.

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It was marketed primarily to women, as a romance. Yet the protagonist in "Fifty Shades of Grey" declares early that he doesn't "do" romance, cuddle or sleep. He ties women up, hangs, blindfolds and whips. The handsome billionaire gets his way and still gets her love.

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The filmmakers remind us not to judge what consenting adults do, however distasteful we might find it, and in general, that's true. But consent can be murky when aex such a discrepancy in power, wealth and experience.

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A local man who tried the bondage, or BDSM, lifestyle thinks it's not so harmless. He emailed me horrified by the excitement over wingle film. The man is a professional in his 40s. But he has been carrying around anger and guilt for years, remorseful that he single sex clubs Des Moines Iowa persuaded that "It was OK to hit a woman," angry at "The justified abuse of a human.

He had to take his companion to the doctor for physical injuries she didn't anticipate. He saw her ostracized for speaking.

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He says the rules requiring consent before using whips, chains, knives and the like were not well enforced: One "master," he said, was a convicted sex offender. And while it was taught that no one should do the De drunk, "I would see 'Masters' who were drunk These are strong accusations, denied by club single sex clubs Des Moines Iowa.

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They say any abuses are promptly dealt with by the board, ranging from more counseling or expulsion. They say no actual sex is allowed at their events, only "play" — such as flogging, tying up and suspending people. And Moibes activities only happen at "play parties" or annual gatherings in May.

Robin," a leader and a dominatrix, says she empowers women and urges calling police if someone is abused. Her partner, "Richard," a board member, says even if a board member is at a private party and sees violations, though it's not an official event, it's brought to the board and action is taken.

But Richard and Ms.

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Robin said he'd been in the year-old group before the offenses occurred. My source pointed out a man on the sex-offender registry he said is a club leader and founder called "Jay.

In Friday's Register, Jay, acting as a club spokesman, said he expects a big increase in membership. I'm no longer associated with it.

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Richard and Ms. Robin identify Jay as a current board member.

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No background checks are done on members but Jay single sex clubs Des Moines Iowa minors sibgle attend. CIPEX is listed as a nonprofit educational organization.

Robin says the group helps people who are different, that some 20 percent of the general population is "kinky," or has fetishes. You are born with them," she said. True, everyone needs a safe space to explore who they are.

No physical activity has been allowed sincewhen someone was struck at a meeting, and disciplinary action was taken.

But allowing faculty members in a forum that teaches sexual behaviors might inspire student-faculty sexual relations, which are complicated and ill-advised.

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But there are red flags. One is the apparently porous line between education and engagement, especially when CIPEX leaders are participants.

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Also, there can't be consent if someone is face down and can't speak, a situation my source described. It's not being judgmental to see such single sex clubs Des Moines Iowa as fraught with danger. Having a sex offender in the mix doesn't help. Just as pedophiles might find jobs around children, rapists or abusers might seek out a group where violence and sexuality are linked.

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Criminal backgrounds should be checked and rules enforced before we can live and let live with peace of mind. Rekha Basu rbasu dmreg. Dominatrix Ms. Robin stands in the basement Molnes of her West Des Moines home on Feb.